Dream again! Dream better!

“If you want a happy ending, that depends on where you stop your story”. (Orson Welles)

The discussion is interesting. We are several people around the table, sitting in comfortable armchairs and enjoying the good weather and the relaxed atmosphere of a West European place. This is a feeling most people in my country never experienced; it’s a state of complete freedom, of safety against any kind of abuse, unlawfulness or dignity issue. It’s also a state in which that constant struggle about money – that constant hunger – is completely absent. Also, that incessant appetite for consumption or social acceptance or glamour is completely irrelevant.

– Where do you work, Cezar?
I answer without any hesitation:
– I work in Strasbourg.
– And where do you live?
– I live in…

And I stop.
I am unable to remember where I live.
I struggle.
I use my mind’s eyes and try to drive back home from my workplace.
I can’t.
I mentally stay in my car and I don’t know where my place is.
A strange amnesia has fallen upon me.
I know I must be living somewhere near but I can’t remember where.
I simply don’t know.

I wake up from my dream very disturbed. It takes me a couple of seconds to make sense of where I am.

Yes, I know, I’m back home in Romania. I’m here for almost 2 years. Yet, I find it strange that in my dreams I am still there, in the civilized world. I still work there although I don’t remember where I live. I’m there. Not here. I… have… never… actually… returned…

Each night I go to sleep hoping I can go back behind the wheel of my car and remember where my home is. There… not here… But the dream never returns…

Not yet.

Happy New Year everyone!

2 thoughts on “Dream again! Dream better!

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