The Last Black Swan

There is a story that haunted me for many years: the story of the black swan or, in another version, the story of the white wolf.

Once upon a time, there was a black swan in a group of white swans. They lived together since the beginning but one day the white swans gathered together and wanted to kill the black swan because it was different. Surprised by their attack, the black swan fought and then escaped, only to live the rest of its life away from the white swans. The story never says if the black swan finds another group of black swans (or just another black swan), or if it lives alone for the rest of its life, but the similar story of the white wolf says it does remain alone. The essential Romanian myth – Mioriţa – says the same story, but it ends in murder: the distinct individual – the best of the group – is killed. No wonder why Romania is in such a dire condition today… killing or excluding the best of us – or those who bring positive change – can only result in the overall degeneration or the stagnation of a nation.

There is a concept called the “workplace culture”. There is a local culture everywhere where there are groups of people, and this culture is defined by the general rules and values of the group. Some groups are creative, other groups are active, some are bureaucratic, some enjoy displaying a good image while being rotten on the inside, others prefer gossip, others prefer silence. Some groups are friendly and democratic, others enjoy having a boss that stresses everybody like hell. Some groups are indifferent, others are sadomasochistic. Some are focused on earning money by all means, others are obsessed with power… The idea is that the norm or the culture is the distinct “flavor” one feels quite rapidly when becoming part of the group. And, if the personal values of the new individual are different from the ones that are common to the group, that individual will be rejected or will be made to leave by his own choice.

My country has killed pretty much all its black swans. Or it has expelled them abroad. Millions and millions of black swans are scattered all over the world, making nests far away from their homeland. It is a demographic disaster nobody is talking about. It is not normal to lose so many people. It’s a bleeding that still continues today; the new generation in schools and high-schools and universities is preparing for a life abroad from the first moment it enters training. Nobody wants to remain; nobody who is mentally sane and not brainwashed or completely delusional.

I do not think that one must weep for Romania. This country deserves everything that is happening to it. I believe that the black swans are under no obligation to come back and help to rebuild the damage caused by the white swans. I believe that the white swans are happy (or they should) with what they have created and should end up facing the consequences of their decisions and actions. Saving, rescuing, helping, supporting those white swans makes the continuation of this vicious game possible. My opinion is that the entire situation should be let to explode in thousands of pieces, the resulting disaster serving as a tough historical lesson to be learnt by many generations to come: the story of how a country managed to self-destruct by itself following decaying myths it should have abandoned long time ago.

I was once a black swan. I still am. I cannot change. I tried. I failed. And I see that it is impossible for me to build a nest here, in my homeland. I am surrounded by white swans sabotaging me ingeniously, making me to wish to fly away from their land, as if their land would not also be my very own land. The majority has decided and the sentence has been inaudibly spoken out. The assassins have been summoned and sent. The poison is served each workday. The psychological confrontation makes my health decline.

The really big question is this: What if I am truly the last black swan left in these lands? And what if I am the one to switch off the light, causing everything to fall behind me, like that last brick that helps the wall to stay still?

3 thoughts on “The Last Black Swan

  1. b.csilla

    Here’s a philosophical question: What if you are not the last? What if in fact you are the one who could really make a difference? How do you know?
    I mean what if staying and trying might actually change things around here?
    Wouldn’t it be cowardly to leave the battle behind? Some might call it a selfish decision …
    That is what keeps me here still.
    If nobody is here anymore to tell the other side of the story, to show that there is another way of doing things, or another way of being in an overall sense, then all hope will be definetly gone.
    I am a black swan in many ways in the small society I live in, but I never stop shouting the other thruth, the alternative … who knows, one day someone might hear it and react. That will be the day the black swans will win.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am the last in my bubble; for more than half a year nobody calls or remembers me. I am completely alone. I cannot make a difference alone; people must follow those who make a difference if they are to make one. But in a country ruled by white swans, you are forbidden power, visibility, impact. If you deeply understand the country and how it is ruled, you understand what I say. I was and still am close to the powerful people in this country and I know that they wouldn’t allow someone who can’t be controlled to change something. The general population has only the illusion of choice. It is not something I believe but something I know… Staying and trying is something I did before 3 times; hope keeps us in chains. No, nothing can be done, I am deeply convinced. I speak from experience. It is not cowardly to leave for two reasons. First, I no longer have the delusion that I might be a great hero or savior who must fight, so it is not about being coward. Second, I am more responsible for myself and my own health than I am for the others. Self-sacrifice for a passive crowd is not pride but stupidity. And finally, trying to make a change and actually making a change are 2 separate and very different things. Try is not a verb that does something; it is only an intentional verb. Everybody tries things for almost 30 years in this country; has anybody succeeded in doing something? We’re worse than in communism!
      The fact that you shout doesn’t mean you do something. You shout hoping. Hoping that something somewhere will somehow happen. Hope is the strongest quality in many people but it is also the strongest tyrant. Because of hope many things never actually happen…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. anonim

    I am very young, my health is not very good, and I have made many mistakes. But I do feel the psyhological aggression, and the cause of it is not very well known by me. Sometimes I think it is all about my false religiousness, about me not observing my own behavior but always trying to change the world outside. I do not know well what my generation is doing. I always try to do more but I feel it is never enough, my subconsciousness punishes me, or so I can express myself. Because of these things I feel I am a “black swan” too. I wish you success in the good direction. Regardless of what other people say, you are a wonderful human being. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

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