Until my last breath

Romania is invaded. Slowly, mostly by night, war machines and tanks enter through several corners of the country. Reports about small groups of soldiers and war equipment come to me through unofficial channels, as the media in silent. We’re preparing for something big. And just like in numerous other occasions, my country will serve as canon fodder.

What is known? One of the biggest military exercises in NATO’s history, right on the Romanian territory, a way through which Europe is showing its muscles to Russia. As most people know, if you feel the need to show how strong you are, you’re probably in a weaker position. And it is so, following Trump’s refuse to give extra money for the protection of Europe. The fact that Trump was right this time is not helping the situation a lot… From my experience – being born on the border with Russia – it is not wise to annoy a huge empire, but the bureaucrats of Brussels lack vision and don’t see too much in the future…

What I know? I see tanks on the streets of my city almost daily, for about 3 weeks already. Initially, I didn’t want to write about this subject, believing what they said on TV, that it is just an exercise. But as the days passed and as the army planes kept bringing huge war machines, I began to freak out. It is not relaxing to see, at midnight or past midnight, large war machines passing beneath my window. Their presence, instead of increasing the sense of security, transforms my country in a target.

Up to this moment, when I write this article, there are no official threats. Most of the population is calm, only some of us are rather uneasy. But judging by the unpredictable reactions of both Trump (see many examples) and Putin (see Crimea), we could be days away from a foolish nuclear war. And in this eventuality, I might be wiped out, either by being summoned to defend with the price of my life… I don’t know what or who… perhaps the corrupt politicians who rule my country?!… or by being executed on the spot for refusal (I will choose to be executed, as I refuse to kill other people, this going against my convictions). A future conflict has become likely, as the weapon manufacturers have too many weapons in stock and are eager to sell them, so any war is good for them, the reasons being auxiliary. If my country will be chosen… well… I can’t stop this from happening…

If “tomorrow never comes”, this website is everything that remains after my passage through this world. It is hosted on a server in California, so it will remain available in the eventuality of my disappearance. Also, if internet communications are suddenly cut, I might not be able to reach it. Either way, I took all the necessary precautions for it to survive a bit more, enough to inspire some of those who will visit it afterwards.

I will continue to post articles until the last moment of my life, hence the title of this article. But I am fully aware that, given my lack of control and the volatility of events, what I do is similar to what the guy in the image above is doing. It is one of the most powerful images I have ever seen: he is using water to write some words on that alley, but by the time he’s done, the words dry out and nothing is left of his work. I keep this metaphor in mind while on the internet, and also while being alive; what we say and what we write will ultimately vanish out of existence.


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