Turning Point

First watch the video!
It’s a part of the funeral of Jonah Lomu, a rugby player in New Zealand. The common performance repeated 3 times is the haka. The video is extremely emotional.

Key points:

When I say primitivism, it doesn’t mean primitive culture, but primitive attitude. The guys in the video are no way primitive; one can notice dignity, a defiant attitude against death and loss, spiritual union, warmth and the ability to express anger versus absurdity of life and death in a controlled yet impressive traditional Maori performance.
In Romania, the Lomu would have been forgotten immediately and the news of his death wouldn’t have made it to the front cover of the newspapers and his funeral would have consisted of only a small ceremony among friends and family, led by a priest that has nothing in his mind but money.

Note that it doesn’t matter the suit of the men, but the attitude, the spirit, the common archetypal background. You immediately sense it’s a community that is deeply connected.
In Romania, the fact that you have a suit makes you automatically superior and you are ashamed of your folklore or your ancestral traditions. Pretty much everyone here is alienated in a way or another.

The men in the video are tough. You see them crying but remember that rugby is a brutal game. There is a noblesse in them. Even the family and who seems to be the wife – I don’t know very well, I don’t watch sport – manages to be strong in the face of death and pain.
In Romania, people lament and are generally fake, impatiently waiting for the end of a goodbye ceremony.

Feel the haka – sound and dance! Makes you tremble. You’re undoubtedly facing warriors, not bureaucrats. The haka is performed with the aim to scare you so that you retreat and no physical fight is necessary.
In Romania we do not have this attitude. We are obedient and we’re selling our souls for a couple of coins. We are a mediocre society and we’re not aware of any value of our civilization. Most of our high-life is made of bureaucrats, managers and workers for the international corporations that have nothing to do with anything you could possibly imagine. I haven’t seen a real warrior for years, only “online warriors”, on blogs and on the Internet, in writing or saying empty words on TV. Nobody has the guts to roar like the New Zealanders do.

Notice that the 3rd haka is performed by younger people. This means the values are passed from generation to generation and so does the cultural identity.
In Romania, obedience versus the boss, fear versus God and the church, unending culpability and the concept of sin and being a sinner – these are the values passed on to the new generations. As I get older, I encounter more and more something I thought I’ll never see: ferocity. It’s not the ferocity of the warriors defending their way of life, land or family, but the ferocity of the one that has a huge inferiority complex and who wants to accumulate money, fortune, glory and power.

Pay attention to the Yang attribute of the war crying. Pay also attention to the Yin attribute of the silence after the dance, that silence that is stronger than noise.
In Romania nobody cries and nobody takes a stance. Here Fear reigns.

I wanted to rant a little with the occasion of this video… Every time I see raw material from other countries I remember, by contrast, how nasty my native country is. It makes me regret I share the Romanian traits; I would have loved to be born and live somewhere else where there are stronger values. There is a saying that instead of changing the world you should begin changing yourself. Well, I slowly come to the conclusion that Romania won’t change despite my efforts of educating through this blog and also, more importantly, through my work as a clinical psychiatrist, where I spend a lot of time explaining and reactivating values in each of my patients and colleagues. My people have become so accustomed to a shallow life that they refuse to change their viewpoint, become more courageous or more assumed. I am fighting the wind…

I was recently advised to have a life of my own and give up trying to make a difference. Yes, she was right; I don’t have a life of my own. But I also share the common traits of the Romanian people, and even if I might want to deny this, I feel for this forsaken population and I get angry when I see much more civilized societies. I mean, we Romanians, we have a history of thousands of years. The Maori in New Zealand do have a history, but it is not as rich as ours. Yet, they are fortunate to be where they are and we are where we are. I find this unfair. And I also find out that any attempt I make to change something, to move anything only an inch to the left or to the right, or forward, results in violent opposition from others and a tendency to do anything to maintain the status quo. And then Romanians suffer, say God punished them, pray, and then they perpetuate the same dysfunctional behavior. And I am caught in the midst of this…

I am at a turning point. Despite having been allowed to live again in Romania, have a job and afford a home here, and despite living better compared to the time in France early this year, I continue to be unable to adjust to this mediocre society. I tried everything. It doesn’t work. I doubt any further articles in Romanian language could help. I recently wrote an article on what would I do if I were prime-minister. The feedback on social media was so poor that I rapidly understood the situation is worse than my worst nightmare: I was born at least one century earlier and the Romanians aren’t prepared to be a great European nation. I covered in that article some of the most important current political and economical issues and I was curious to see if others think like me and believe that the time of change has come. It was an exercise of imagination. The only feedback I got was that the Romanians are too weak and the government and the politicians are subjugated by foreign secret services, something that might be partly true but not entirely true; however, it’s a great excuse for doing nothing.

This blog is mostly psychotherapy, leadership, music and photography. None of these are interesting for my Romanian audience. I don’t discuss religion, although I can. I don’t do politics. I avoid being personal here. I don’t share “easy” stuff like funny videos or ordinary gossip. Most traffic goes to the psychology stuff. But there is something else happening…

The world is changing. It gets flatter and more and more interconnected. New powers arise. The old books are useless. Benchmarks fail. People are more and more attracted by simple emotions, simple joys, very superficial stuff. On the other hand, I become more and more introverted as I become aware there isn’t any real need for my skills in this world. I always felt that my mission is to bring out the inner potential in others but now I am facing the reality that people do not care about their potential and do not want to become better. When someone comes in my practice they want me to do something so that the others change or give them a drug in order to emotionally anesthetize them. Nobody is in for a voyage of self-discovery. “Numb me or change the others!” – that’s the motto, without exception.

I am aware that a change in my blog content is necessary. I have no idea what it’ll be. I often say that it is the blog who’s writing itself, it’s not me who’s writing. Currently, my daemons are silent. But if you want me to cover anything in particular, drop me a line in the contact form.

Today is the National Day in Romania. My wish is to see my people at least half as civilized as the Maori and having regained their national identity and values. Only time will tell if I live to see this becoming a reality…

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